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Ignoring Leads to Ignorance & Imbalance
Dear friends,
My next few newsletters will be on the topic of balance.
We have been brought up to believe in the goodness of life, to look for & find only the very best in people. We are instructed:
“If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing; turn the other cheek; one wrong is never corrected with another wrong; don’t pass judgment; don’t criticize; if you made your bed lie in it†- do not invite into your life anything that is uncomfortable or imperfect. For goodness sake, never express outwardly what you honestly think or feel about an ‘ugly’ situation or person!
Many of us live in a carefully constructed bubble which excludes the ‘negative/bad’. We blindly ignore everything from the early morning news to the beggar standing at the traffic lights reminding us of the ‘unkind world’ out there. We dare not ‘look for trouble’, or become involved with the imperfections surrounding us. We are conditioned into believing that non-interference is noble. What is noble about walking onto the other side of the road to avoid a man who has been gunned down? What is the difference between avoiding this situation, or one where your friend asks you to throw some light onto his partner’s deceptive behaviour? Agreed, there is a sensitive & fine line here – but to totally ignore it through plain ignorance or cowardice are not the only options.
We think that expressing an opinion about a negative or ugly situation or person is ‘wrong’. The real reason we find this difficult to do is because we don’t like to be seen in an unkind, judgmental light to the outside world. It is not the ‘right’ image to portray; but to rather appear pious & forgiving. You cannot afford to lose face by appearing as a ‘horrible’ person even though what you are expressing is negative only by association. But it is ‘ok’ to express an opinion associated with a positive.
So we have been taught to see, feel & think one thing, but express or act in the opposite way – confusing - & this leads to denial of the reality of ‘what is’ - in front of your nose - be it ‘ugly’ or ‘pretty’ – ‘good’ or ‘bad’. We need to acknowledge both sides in order to maintain balance.
Does ig-noring lead to ig-norance? Of course it does! Your negative/hurt/angry/frustrated/sad emotions for example are a good measure for you to use to figure out how to respond to people & situations that are possibly threatening. The bigger the feeling, the greater your need to act on that feeling. It brings your attention to something that is out of kilter/needs adjusting, & that therein lies a lesson to be learned. Facing the negative feeling/thought & learning how better to cope with it will allow more openness to your growth & expansion of knowledge.
As the Buddhists say about anger: If you can do nothing about the cause of your anger, then let the anger go. You still need to address the negative emotion & NOT deny or ignore it; this will only lead to confusion/stress & ultimately your body’s need to express this imbalance as a physical illness in an attempt to get rid of it. The body is brutally honest & has its own intelligence which will always bring your attention to whatever is out of balance. You will end up carrying a physical expression of the emotional wound in the form of an illness. It was an unresolved negative emotion that caused the wound in the first place.
So what to do about the imbalance caused through ignoring negative feelings? The more we ignore & are unable to identify or cope with the negative things of life, the more space this ugly energy is given in which to expand & flourish. The initial step toward comprehending the negative side of life is simply to acknowledge & accept (not condone) its existence. When able to identify & face the darker aspects of life it is far easier to figure out ways of stopping it in its tracks & brining about healing. It is that simple.
Looking forward to chatting more on this subject next month.
With love,
Barbara.
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Ignoring Leads to Ignorance & Imbalance
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Dear friends,
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